food for thought

forget about that dream house. what i want is just a room. four walls. to myself. so that i could separate myself from the noises of the world. so that i could have my own tho-. my own though-, my own thoughts being formed, without any interruptions. i want to quiet my mind but how can that be possible if people are present? there is no barrier. and it is my deepest wish that there was.

The rants and raging of an utterly confused college student

So, here it is. My first blog in a really long time in which I pour out my heart and soul to…well, the tumblr community. But it helps me process. I don’t know, there’s something wonderful about sharing your thoughts onto a blog.

Over the past year, I’ve been struggling with how to handle the atrocities of the world. There’s corruption in every corner of the world. Violence erupting. War. Oppression. We’ve got it all. And, I’ve had a habit of dwelling onto these issues, and not really knowing how I could change it.

Well, it’s put me in a difficult position. I’m reassessing what my life’s purpose is. What cause I’d like to advocate. Where it is I want to place myself and see change happen. I’ve considered many options but the paths are endless. It seems like I can go wherever I choose to. But, the hardest part is finding which direction to go. It’s hard for me to take that step… or, maybe, more accurately, that leap of faith… because I had envisioned for years where I would like to be. Plus, there’s that issue of me not knowing where the frak to go. It’s all really overwhelming and I’m feeling lost at the moment.

I know for a fact that I cannot take on the entire world. There’s much change needed. But that overwhelmingly burdensome fact will not deter me from trying to better the world. Now, that I’ve come to realize this, the question I must now confront is: what am I going to dedicate my life to. Like with anything, I must first begin with putting all my efforts to solving one problem at a time. If I focus my attention on too many things at the same time, I will achieve nothing. Just like, if I were to listen to a baseball game during class, all my attention is diverted to the game, rather than the lecture… Therefore, you can’t do two things at once. (Believe me, I tried doing this). Expend all my energy and time focusing on one problem, finding one solution—that is how I can make a movement. But, I can’t answer what it is I’d like to advocate in my lifetime, or where I’d like to begin.